This Has To Stop

Well guess what. Apparently the Tyson blog has to stop.

It has been classed as bullying by the powers that be at SAYU and can no longer continue. Tyson likes it though but the powers that be believe that he doesn't.

We need to make a stand. we need to post as many comments as possible on this blog to say how much we love Tyson, love this blog and admire everything he is doing for fat people all over the UK, hang on The World. Fat people can now be classed as heroes because of this man.

All hail Tyson. Comment people and lets make Tyson love!!

What Happened.

This was a dark day for all Tyson fans.

He cut back.

To mourne this moment i shall only list the food.

Sausage and bacon sarnie

Sausage Roll

Egg and Bacon Pie

Chicken kebab

That is it. If Tyson does not improve I shall retire and no longer will this big fat man be worshiped.

You can tell, I am in a stinking mood with him.

Only A Half Day.. But Only Half As Much. Doubt It

Well only half as much for Tyson maybe but not for any normal person. This is there daily intake usually. But as we all know now Tyson is something special.

Well as per usual the sausage and bacon sarnies were calling and Tyson was more than happy to answer that call with super fast haste. That was down and out in a matter of seconds. H then gave his family a kiss and was on his way for a grueling half day at planet Sayu.

Now the friendly staff at Pier were sat waiting for the batphone to go off but bad news.... It didn't.

Tyson was ready loaded with tagliatelle bolognese and fuck me did he eat this. You should have seen him shovel that shit into his gob. He loved it and it's always good to see. No wrapping the lovely pasta round the fork for this man. no sirree.

Dave Sandwich came in early again. I think this lad is wetting the bed but that's a different story. Tyson was mid pitch but that didn't matter, phone down, money out and straight to Dave. Two pies it was today. The usual Egg and Bacon but Tyson is also a man of variety so he tried a bit of Steak and Gravy. Now everyone loves steak and gravy and Tyson is no different.

Now unfortunately this is all for today. Tyson had to go see his dentist. Bad news as well he needs two fillings so if all readers could say a prayer for Tyson to ensure all goes well with minimal fuss and pain.

Lord, be with me each day as I practice dentistry.
May I treat with gentle care all who place their trust in me.
May my calm assurance help to ease my patients fear and to relax a tense adult or to dry a child's tear.
May I treat each person with competence and skill,
whether a difficult procedure or a tooth that I must fill.
As I diagnose and treat, be with me all the while.
And reward me with the beauty of my patient's lovely and healthy smile.

Amen.

Sausage and Bacon. he fucking loves it

I'm sure reading through the blog you will know fine well that Tyson loves his sausage and bacon sarnies. Hey but don't we all. But this day was a bit special for Tyson as he had 3 before 11am in this day. The story goes a little bit like this.

Now Tyson had a good sleep but was absolutely hank marvin so he pulled his mother in law by the feet out of bed and stud her up against the cooker. Now some of you will be having dirty thoughts about this scenario but nothing like that happened. Said Tyson anyway. He just threw a bucket of water over here and she knew what to do. Fridge, two sausage, 2 bacon, frying pan. Sausage and bacon sarnie. Done.

Now whilst he was on the train he started to scare the rest of the passengers with his constant stomach rumbling. So he dialed 1 on the speed dial and was put straight through to the Pier express. Now Pier have been equipped with what they call the Tyson phone. It's similar the the one they had on Batman but its shaped like a burger. They knew exactly what to do. The Tray was out. The food was frying and the Brown Sauce was ready. He walked in, handed the cash and the job was done. But he wasn't finished there. He wanted something nice and creamy to wash it down. So large tub of coleslaw it was. Now this is as close to Salad as Tyson gets I'm afraid so don't all start thinking he's turned a corner.

I've got to say on the 11th I was starving and so was half of the office. So Tyson thought he'd help us all out and get the phone order in. Tysons usual again. Sausage, Bacon and onion sarnie. His 3rd of the day. This man is moving into hero status now. The mans good deeds were not done there though. Young Samantha, a new recruit to the world of Sayu had enough of her Bacon and cheese sarnie. Who was there to lend her a helping hand. Our man Tyson. You never saw Jesus offering help like this did you now.

Dave Sandwich rolled in about 11ish and Tyson was there with the usual hug and kiss but let Dave down a bit as he only had one bacon and egg pie. Could Tyson be cutting down. Lets hope not.

Dinner time came and his belly was acting like the one on the Shreddies advert. You know the one "keep hunger locked up till lunch". A couple of spoons banging away at his Gut. So he want for a chicken Burger and wedges. He tried to have some salad but that was a total no go. In Tysons words. "I wanna shag like a rabbit, not eat like one" You can't argue with that.

Now what a day this man had and I for one am very proud of him. Now some news for you all is that soon we will be paying homage to Tyson and having a national sausage, bacon and onion sarnie day. Just keep checking this blog and free sarnies for further information.

Holla.

The big one. The Thursday When Tyson Pushed Things To The Extreme

Hi Tyson fans.

Now I promised you all a long time ago that I would log the famous Thursday, and now I will.

This is when we thought it was essential that the world should know of what Tyson does eat so sit back and enjoy as I take you on a journey of What Tyson eaten on 20/03/2008.

Well Tyson woke up absolutely starving and he said to his mother in law. Usual please Tina. And she obliged. Sausage and Bacon sarnie was the order and sausage and bacon sarnie he had.

Now his mother in law is a good cook by all accounts and I wanted to try her favourite African dish red red. So he brought some in for me. Did i get some. Did I fuck. He wolfed the lot.

Now on The Thursday it was Kevins last day so the brekkie order was going in. Tyson is not one to shirk out of his social responsibilities so he ordered his favourite sausage, bacon and onion sarnie. in a tray and with brooon sauce. yummy.

Dave sandwich turned up at 11ish. Tyson was excited to see him as ever and ran and gave him a big hug. Order. Egg and Bacon Pie and a chicken, bacon and mayo sarnie. That kept him going for an hour or so.

Now it was chippy time for me Kev and Alex and Tyson wanted some yum yums. His order was as follows. Large sausage, chips and curry sauce. Same as mine I must say but mine wasn't following the previous orders.

Now I did fail to mention that Tyson had visited his mates Pizza shop prior to the chippy run where he enjoyed 4 slices of un named pizza.

All was wolfed down by a selection of Thorntons Chocolates as it was Easter after all.

Hooray. Our Man Tyson Is Back

Well thankfully Tyson is back fit and well and hungry. Here is the food count for 02/04/2008.

Tyson started the days proceedings with 3 slices of Pizza. Like any red blooded male he hates to see last nights take away wasted so he dispatched of that with copious amounts of ease.

He got to work very early yesterday as he was travelling via choo choo train so he decided to pay a visit to his favourite haunt in Thornaby Pier 22. The usual was what Tyson craved and the usual is what he got. A sausage, bacon and onion sarnie with brown sauce and for some bizarre reason in a plastic tray. Don't ask me readers, I only take note of what is eaten.

Everybodys favourite Dave sandwich paid a visit at 11 o'clock and Tyson was ravenous. A selection of Daves finest was the order of the day here. First of all it was everyones favourite a BLT Wrap. Not an ak47 type of wrap but a nice fluffy tortilla wrap with a delicious mouth watering filling. This was enjoyed after a succulent dogs arse (sausage roll, daves sausage rolls do look likes dogs arses) and the englishmans choice of choice sandwiches cheese and pickle. Yum Yum.

The afternoon was capped off with 6 fruity chewy sweets kindly donated by Smithy.

Now everybody look forward to tomorrow as we are having a retro day when we will be looking back to the 20th of March which was a massive day in Tysons life. Watch this space.

tata

26/3/2008 - Tysons scran

Remember this is just what Tyson has eaten up until 5pm and no later.

Unfortunately Tyson missed breakfast so he had to wolf down a snickers and a packet of Mistletoe kisses to ensure the lining was ready for the day ahead.

5 Minutes later a proper meal was induced when he partook in a lovely tuna and pasta bake made by his delightful mother in law. yum yum.

Dave sandwich was in the office about 90 minutes later when our very own Tyson went egg and bacon crazy. He had first of all a chunky calorie infused egg and bacon Pie, followed by heartburn in a sandwich. Bacon, egg and mayonnaise sarnie. yak.

Tyson was busy working for the day from then on but at the end of the day he polished off his days work with 2 sweet tasting oreos. mmmmmmmm.

Unfortunately the blog may well not appear tomorrow as Tyson is off ill after having a dodgy parmo last night. But do not threat Tyson fans he will be back soon eating for us all.

Hooray For Tyson.